


father of mine

by shadowkaijin



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Drive
Genre: Post-Canon, gou-typical break downs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkaijin/pseuds/shadowkaijin
Summary: Banno Tenjuuro has a grave, Gou discovers. He really shouldn’t.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	father of mine

**Author's Note:**

> my new brand of story’s is just “things happening in the same setting as time passes” cause that’s this & my last fic. 
> 
> gou was invented for me to vent with. i don’t even know if i like this but i liked the idea so here it is. also i haven’t actually watched the heart/mach cinema, so excuse any canon diversions

“Well fuck me I guess...” Gou mutters to himself as he walks through the graveyard. He was due to leave for America in a couple hours with Professor Harley but apparently he had some business to attend to before they left. That was alright, because so did Gou.

They buried Banno when he died the first time. Krim too apparently but in a different cemetery. That was for the best, Gou figures. They shouldn't be anywhere near each other. He stops in his tracks when he finally sees the grave marked _Banno Tenjuuro_. 

Gou immediately feels the same anger from the days before build up inside him. He hates his father, hates that his blood is in his veins and that he caused all of this. He hates that he feels like it’s all his own fault.

“Bastard,” Gou sneers, giving Banno’s headstone a sharp kick before he could think better of it. It wasn't like he had slept much the past days so he certainly wasn’t in the best mindset. “I’ll undo everything you’ve done. All your sins… I’ll fix them. And I hope you look up from hell and realize how much me and Nee-chan accomplish and I hope you scream.”

Gou gives the headstone another kick, twisting his foot into the inscriptions. Tears finally start to spill over but he doesn’t bother wiping them away. “I’ll get him back. I’ll bring Chase back and I’ll make up for everything I did to him. Roidmudes aren’t your tools! The kindest man I know is a roidmude. You were wrong, always wrong….”

A sob escapes him, and he gives the monument a few more kicks for good measure. Eventually he’s able to calm down and brush his tears away. He sighs, his breaths coming out shaky and broken. 

He pulls out his phone and checks the time. He should probably get to the airport soon. He hasn’t told Shinnosuke or Kiriko that he’s going but he thinks that might be the best, at least for now. They’ll learn eventually.

“I’m going to save him,” Gou says one more time, looking at the dreary headstone. It almost feels like it’s mocking him, but Gou knows he’ll prove it wrong. He has to save Chase. He refuses to imagine a future where he doesn’t.

He stays a little longer, feeling the weight of the journey ahead of him . He stays until Professor Harley calls him. He leaves, but he knows that he’ll inevitably be back. He just hopes next time it’ll be with Chase.

*

The next time Gou visits, it’s the middle of the night. Maybe there’s a night watchman on duty but Gou doesn’t care, too absorbed in his own fury.

He’s _angry_ . Angry at Heart and his father and himself. The thoughts echo violently in his head. _You failed, You failed, the one thing you were supposed to do, the one thing you had been working towards and you fucked it up somehow._

When he gets to the plot he knows Banno’s in, he screams. It’s a painful, guttural scream that tears through the usually peaceful night atmosphere. 

“You piece of shit!” He’s not quite sure if he’s shouting at Banno or himself. “You motherfucker, I’ll never forgive you! You stupid, heartless, bastard!” 

He falls to the ground, curling into himself and gripping at his hair. He feels like the world is falling through his fingers. 

It’s not the first time they’ve failed, but before it was just tests. Seeing what the Signal Chaser reacted to or if their rendition of Krim’s core design was sustainable. He thought they had it figured out, he thought they were going to make it this time. 

Gou pulls out Chase’s drivers license and the Signal Chaser from his pocket. He clenches them close to his chest as he trembles. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

He doesn’t cry this time. Maybe he’s expended all his tears already. He feels the familiar indents in his hands where he’s held Chase’s belongings tightly before. They’re a familiar sting against his hands and his only lucid thought is to loosen his grip so he doesn’t damage them. 

Gou stays on the ground, attempting to steady his breathing and get a hold of himself. He finally moved once he felt the rain start to lightly sprinkle on him.

He sits up and takes a few deep breaths. He stares down his father's name and moves his thumb up and down the curves of the Signal Chaser. 

“Don’t think this is me giving up. I’m not done, I’m nowhere near done.” Gou’s voice cracks and his throat feels like it’s on fire but he doesn’t stop. “I’ll bring him back. Even if it was an accident, I brought some of them back. I hope you can see them. I hope you’re in agony.” 

Gou stands up and catches a glimpse of a security guard’s flashlight. He swears under his breath and hopes they didn’t see his bike. He shoves Chase’s things into his pocket and glances down at Banno’s grave one last time before making a run for the road.

*

“It’s right over here.” Gou walks the horribly unfamiliar path to Banno grave with Kiriko right behind him. He originally didn’t want to tell her about it, but he’s kept far too many secrets from her in the past. He could at least give her this.

They stand in front of the stone together. The only sound is the gentle wind rustling the trees. “I can’t believe he’s actually buried here….” Kiriko grabs Gou’s arm and squeezes it. He can only nod in response.

When Gou visited Banno’s grave (which is more often than he likes to admit) it’s usually in fits of sleep deprived indignation. It was therapeutic, to have someone to yell at that wasn’t his own reflection. 

But now that he is there with Kiriko, all he can do is feel a strange feeling of void. He supposes this is more normal, a brother and sister visiting their father's grave. But he also knows their relationship was anything but. 

“It’s not fair…” Kiriko murmurs. Her grip on Gou’s arm tightens and Gou gently lays his head against hers. “Mom’s buried in a field, Chase isn’t buried at all. Why does he get this?” 

When she says that, Gou remembers the difference between them. After all the years, Kiriko thinks Chase is never coming back. Gou really can’t blame her, but he also can’t afford to agree. 

“Maybe it’s better this way. We know where mom is, where she always loved to be.” Gou’s only repeating the words Kiriko told him for years. He barely remembers their mother, but he still feels the emotion pull at him when they talk about her. “And well, I haven’t exactly been gentle with this place….”

Gou’s assaults on the stone haven’t done much but scuff the writing, but it fills him with a twisted sense of pride. _Good riddance._

“Good,” Kiriko says sharply. “He doesn’t deserve anything more.” Gou huffs out a dry laugh. It was nice to share his grief with someone. He couldn’t spare his sister from all the suffering they had gone through, but at the very least they could have each other. 

The silence was interrupted by Kiriko’s phone buzzing. She sighs and steps away from Gou. “This is Tomari.” She talks to whoever’s on the other side briefly before hanging up and turning back to Gou. “I’m sorry, it’s work. I’ve got to get going.”

“It’s alright, we should get going anyway.” They start to head out but still, Gou couldn’t help but glance back one more time.

He feels the same familiar feelings burning inside him after all these years: determination for himself, spite for his father, and adoration for Chase. Even if it made him seem crazy, even if he is, he would never give up. He couldn’t. 

He feels a tug on his jacket sleeve. Kiriko’s looking at him with sympathy and pity and worry and it makes him want to explode. He only nods, and they leave together. 

*

The last time Gou visits Banno’s grave, there’s a smile on his face. It’s a strange feeling, but he really can’t help it. For the first time in a long time, he truly feels satisfied. Maybe even a little smug.

When he gets to the headstone, he gives it a solid kick, just for the hell of it. He crouches down and looks at it, the grin spreading on his face. 

“I did it. I _fucking_ did it.” A tear escapes his eye but it’s not like before. He’s not sad or angry, he’s relieved. He’s gratified. 

“And I’m just getting started too,” he declares decisively. “I’m going to help people, protect them. I’m going to be better than you.”

Gou stands and he feels the sun shine on his face. “I don’t need you anymore, dad. You’re gone, I killed you myself. Twice.” 

He’s interrupted by the sound of footsteps crunching through the grass. Gou smiles again as he looks up at the man he’s been working so hard for. He’s stiff and awkward and _there_ , and just seeing him almost brings Gou to tears again.

“I didn’t know where you went. Kiriko said you would probably be here.” Chase walks up next to him and notices the headstone. “Oh. I was unaware Banno Tenjuuro had a grave.” 

Chase looks worried, maybe wondering if he made Gou uncomfortable. Gou doesn’t think about how he can read Chase’s almost unchanging expressions, instead opting to put a reassuring hand on his arm. 

“Don’t worry, I was just leaving.” Gou pulls the Zenrin Shooter from the holster at his side and gives it a twirl before shooting Banno’s gravestone four times, leaving nothing but sparse, smoldering remains. 

“... Was that a good idea?” Chase asks after a moment. Gou only laughs and throws an arm over Chase’s shoulder. 

“Definitely. Nobody visited him anyway, except for me. And I think… I think it’s time for me to move on,” Gou says definitively. “Come on, we’ve got more important stuff to do!” 

He moves Chase with him as he walks away and Chase easily matches his pace. He doesn’t look back, only forward. 


End file.
